BAND BOOKING REALITY’S

1. When you are drunk, you just THINK you play like Clapton. When in fact, you suck

2. Bands are still making the same money they did 25 years ago.

3. People don't want to hear your guitar solo. No matter how good YOU think it is.

4. People will always say you are too loud. They are usually right.

5. Most people are not there to listen to the band.

6. You may think you're the opening act. But you're really the sound check.

7. Everyone wants to hear "Mustang Sally" no matter how many times you played it.

8. Secretly you enjoy playing "Mustang Sally" cause it's easy.

9. A good way to send people to the TOILET. Is to announce an original song.

10. When your hired to play an event what they really hired was the use of your PA.

11. At the end of the gig most folks couldn't tell you three songs you played.

12. The more complex a song is the less people want to hear it.

13. Most people don't even know the name of your band. Or really care.

14. People will enjoy a BAD band. Even if they look like they are having a good time.

15. Anything having to do with music takes a back seat when your first child is born.

16. At some point someone will request "Freebird". It doesn't matter if you play banjo in a Spanish band & wear a sombrero.

17. 3 solos back to back is musical Masturbation.

18. Anyone with a mouth organ is annoying.

19. The "Birdie Dance" & "Play that Funky Music White Boy" are staples at weddings.

20. If you play enough bars & beer joints, you will get flashed. By the ugliest woman in town.